Mom Explains Her ‘Greatest Failure’ as a Parent After Online Criticism

Parents want nothing but the best for their children, and they certainly don’t want them to go through unnecessary hardships. But sometimes making it a priority to prevent children from having any bad experiences can have a lasting negative effect.

In a viral TikTok video shared by a mother of two named Courtney (@ask.courtney), she said she used to be a “lawnmower parent,” meaning she used to try to remove every obstacle in her children’s paths. But the trauma counselor soon realized that this wasn’t beneficial.

Courtney, 41, told Newsweek: “In the past, due to my upbringing, I tended to be a rescue parent, always wanting to shield my children from pain and difficulties.”

Screenshots from Courtney’s TikTok video show a discussion about being a “lawn mower parent.”

 

The clip, which has received over 453,000 views and more than 24,000 likes, is captioned: “This was my greatest failure that took a lot of repair to remedy.”

The video features a screenshot of a comment from a TikTok user asking why this parenting style is “so bad” and accusing Courtney of wanting to see her kids, who are 9 and 14, suffer.

Courtney, who lives in New England and didn’t wish to share her surname, recorded the moment she asked her son “J” about his thoughts and experiences. He says that his mom didn’t want him to experience pain, shame, discomfort or disappointment.

During the clip, she asks the teenager, “So every time that I rescued you from those emotions, what did that do for you?”

He responds: “It taught me that I wasn’t able to control those emotions or I wasn’t in control.” The underlying message was that he wasn’t “good enough.”

His mother told Newsweek: “This approach unintentionally conveyed to them that they were incapable of handling their own emotions and lives. As they grew older, especially my son, I realized that my parenting needed adjustment.

“I learned to step back, allow him to make his own choices and learn from them,” she continued. “Instead of imposing my way, I adopted scaffolding as a parenting strategy, offering support while giving him the space to lead his life and learn from his decisions. I shifted the focus from what I believed was best to what truly supported his growth and development.

“Now, he independently makes decisions, learns from his experiences and seeks guidance when necessary, fostering a more open and supportive parent-child relationship,” she said.

 

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE

Skills

Posted on

June 14, 2024

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